Entry #6: Pie Talk

   

No, this is not my pie, I just like the braids.

     Let's talk pie. I'm a guy who proudly makes and eats fruit pie, so let's talk about it. Its been more than a few months since I've made one but I can't think of anything else to blog about right now so here they are: the tips about making pies that nobody asked for. Tips from an amateur baker who's done a lot of browsing the internet. First, some background as to how I began to love pies.

     Fruit pies are something I was never into as a kid, they were like a grown-up dessert. To me, eating pie for dessert was like eating Life cereal for breakfast. There's Lucky Charms, Capn Crunch, Fruity Pebbles- why would you ever eat Life? Then, during a cooking/baking phase, I decided to try making pie. The first pie I made wasn't a fruit pie, though. I was listening to the album Ram by Paul McCartney and. in one the songs, he mentions something about a "butter pie". One day, out of sheer boredom and some curiosity, I looked up a butter pie on google. Turns out, it is a real thing.

     Also called a Catholic pie or a Friday pie, the butter pie is a savory pie filled with... potatoes, onions, and butter. I'm aware of how that sounds. It gets its other names (Catholic pie and Friday pie) because, allegedly, it came about as a pie that could be eaten by Catholics on Friday, when meat wasn't supposed to be consumed. For whatever reason, I found a recipe for one and resolved to make it, along with a couple of sides: bacon and these dumplings I had found on a Youtube channel called Townsends. This channel rules, they do authentic 1700s American cooking. Binge watching this is awesome if you're into watching cooking stuff. (He uses suet but you can use vegetable shortening to mixed results) And the "syrup" is AMAZING. Its so good, it tastes like butterscotch.

     Anyway, I struggled with the pie crust and tried to convert the british recipe the best I could by looking up conversions online. "Grams" of butter and flour, are you kidding me. I preheated the oven and realized they meant CELSIUS. One more google search and I put it at 350 Fahrenheit.I struggled with the pie dough, it kept crumbling and tearing as I rolled it out but, eventually, I got it into the dish. I layered some cooked onions and par-cooked potatoes  then wrangled the top layer of the pie on. It came out of the oven and... looked pretty good! I didn't do an egg wash and I didnt collar the sides of the pie with foil so, a little pale on top and dark brown at the edges. We ate it with some A1 sauce and, honestly, its one of my top 10 or 20 dinners. Really good, though it was my first time working with pie dough and (despite obsessively googling pie crust tutorials and tips) the edges were kind of tough. But it was awesome. Especially with the bacon, and dumplings with sweet sauce. I miss this dish, I gotta make this again sometime, damn.

     Since then, I've made loads of fruit pies, a couple more butter pies, and even a venison pie. I've also found this crust recipe that I love and would share with anyone who wanted to start making pies. [click here] You can use this for savory pies, just don't sprinkle sugar on top at the end. Also, this pie crust uses a tiny bit of baking powder so its going to fluff up any little decorations you make. 

Some tips for making pie:

• Don't overwork the dough
• This is a big one, kneading dough makes gluten which gives bread its chewy texture. In pie crust this results in a really weird crunchy and also tough texture. If you want to get it flaky to the point that it just crumbles the instant you touch it you have to be gentle with the dough. Just work it together enough that it becomes a mostly smooth, consistent dough.  Do NOT knead it.
• Be careful with the liquid you add
• There is no specific amount of wet stuff you should add to pie dough.. or bread in general. Every bread recipe you've seen is sort of lying to you, or at least that's how I see. You want the right amount of moisture, that can differ depending on all sorts of things. With pie crust you just want to add little bits of your wet ingredients at a time so that your fats and flour come together to make a dough. Just enough to make it sort of easy to work with. Not too much liquid, not too little, if working with it sort of pisses you off that's how you know its working
• Keep everything cold
• Keep your wet ingredients in the fridge. Keep your fats cold especially. The recipe I use has crisco and butter. I freeze the sticks of butter and grate them with a cheese grater. It feels awful on your hands, they get greasy and feel like they're getting frostbite, its worth it. After you mix in your cold fat, finish making your dough, shape it into a round, lightly powder it with flour then wrap it in plastic wrap and then put it in the fridge. Cooking your pie with cold fat gives you a pie with loads of flaky layers. I've even put my whole pie in the freezer for 20 minutes before cooking it, go nuts.

     Okay, those are the biggest three tips I can consider. The only other big tip I can think of is, with fruit pies, you'll have a problem where they release a bunch of juice and make the bottom soggy. To try to reduce or avoid this, toss your fruit with your sugar, cover it with something (I use a kitchen towel), and let it sit. An hour or two later, it will probably have released a bunch of liquid. Strain that liquid into a small saucepan and boil the hell out of it. This is where it can get really messy. Ideally, you want to heat it up to the point where it becomes like a syrup. It gets worse.

     What you're really doing is making a caramel. When you heat up sugar to certain temperatures it goes through a bunch of weird phases and can allow it to be made into rock candy, taffy, caramel, or some sort of unholy sticky wad that is excruciatingly hard to remove from your pan. So, if you have a candy thermometer, heat it up to 230-234 degrees Fahrenheit and remove it from the heat immediately. Let it cool, hopefully it gets thick and syrupy. If not, you can throw it away. Nobody will know and your pie will still taste great. This whole step is insane, anxiety inducing, and often barely worth it but I do it a lot of the time. It works most of the time.

     Lastly, the internet is your friend. I learned everything about pies online. Sift through forums, youtube videos, ask questions of your own. Look stuff up before, after, and while you're making pies. Try things out and if they dont work try something else out.